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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16743) - you deserved it (3781)
On 03/17/2010 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by smiler (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55923) - you deserved it (4159)
On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by david (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19453) - you deserved it (3239)
On 03/17/2010 at 10:18am - work - by mama75 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man 'discretely' jerking it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (2833)
On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22686) - you deserved it (2347)
On 03/15/2010 at 11:27am - love - by stunned (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18391) - you deserved it (2667)
On 03/14/2010 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15833) - you deserved it (2716)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (3672)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:18pm - misc - by uHazFailedTotall - Norway (Rogaland)
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5832) - you deserved it (13387)
On 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by lendahandmanda (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14640) - you deserved it (12067)
On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - kids - by ohemgee23 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11505) - you deserved it (1985)
On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (3377)
On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72176) - you deserved it (7428)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8029) - you deserved it (14287)
On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50420) - you deserved it (2870)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
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