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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1305
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About why57why : Potato

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why57why's favorite FMLs

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (2216)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML


I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (1669)

On 11/18/2015 at 8:47am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (8070)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (3482)

On 11/15/2015 at 9:34pm - misc - by Potted - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (2298)

On 11/13/2015 at 11:32am - misc - by eyegouger15 (man) - United States

Today, I yawned so hard that I dislocated my jaw completely, then had to ask to be excused from class in front of 30 people with my mouth hanging open. FML

Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12767) - you deserved it (26424)

On 11/12/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by friendless1004 - United States (California)

Today, I now need to include in my prerequisites for a potential date, "Must not pull a knife out on one of my guy friends for hugging me." I'm so done with online dating. FML

Today, as always, I'm so flat-chested and childlike in appearance that my boyfriend successfully passed me off as his little sister to save money at a restaurant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24365) - you deserved it (2069)

On 11/01/2015 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML


I agree, your life sucks (24448) - you deserved it (2802)

On 10/14/2015 at 10:29am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27318) - you deserved it (5284)

On 09/24/2015 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got an angry call from my 7-year-old son's school. It turned out that while doing a "what I want to be when I'm older" assignment, he wrote that he wants to be an internet troll so he can make people mad and make them kill themselves. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26044) - you deserved it (3976)

On 09/23/2015 at 11:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML

Today, I slipped in my own vomit while dashing to the bathroom to puke. My knee hit and shattered the toilet; the toilet shattered my knee. FML

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