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whoretool

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whoretool

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2082
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About whoretool : modern teen in a f^@&ed up world. too bad its not the world thats f*@#ed up...

whoretool's page activity

Visits<b>ThenamesEevee</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:47am<b>do_your_homework</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 8:51pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 3:08pm<b>x805xUnknown</b> - the 10/08/2009 at 2:32am<b>username666</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 10:07pm<b>maddog</b> - the 03/25/2009 at 11:25am

whoretool's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

whoretool's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

#574471
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (249487) - you deserved it (42024)

On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

#272262
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33980) - you deserved it (90417)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Zack (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69112) - you deserved it (2894)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5-year old for a few seconds. The guy that had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML

#253814
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18719) - you deserved it (42395)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:45pm - work - by ADH2000 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

#249390
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54117) - you deserved it (3949)

On 03/09/2009 at 2:15am - work - by unsatisfied (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the man I have been dating for 3 weeks, who told me he owns a high end restaurant in the city, handed me my lunch order through the drive-thru at Wendy's. FML

#241205
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57340) - you deserved it (9134)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by marge1010 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving on the freeway in the back seat of my friends car. I looked over to the left and was greeted by a van full of adolescent boys waving and making the "call me" hand gesture. I then happened to looked down and realized that my right boob was completely out of my top. FML

#240249
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (48679)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving on the freeway in the back seat of my friends car. I looked over to the left and was greeted by a van full of adolescent boys waving and making the "call me" hand gesture. I then happened to looked down and realized that my right boob was completely out of my top. FML

#240249
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (48679)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

#239452
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you deserved it (78995)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55455) - you deserved it (17735)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94893) - you deserved it (18610)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19692) - you deserved it (61089)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)



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