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About whitneyyy : I like reading fmls.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (38789)
On 08/28/2009 at 11:08am - love - by fmlll (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (2749)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56416) - you deserved it (11333)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I placed a personal ad advertising myself as an overweight woman wanting sex. I sent pictures of me in lingerie to men who replied and was pleased that almost all were still interested. Then I sent face pics. As it turns out, being fat is not my problem. Apparently I'm ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34735) - you deserved it (19302)
On 07/30/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by yeahthatsme (woman) - United States (Kentucky) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, it started raining unexpectedly. My daughter and I didn't have an umbrella, so my daughter raised one of my big flabby arms and put it over her head to protect her from the rain. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18840) - you deserved it (29284)
On 07/13/2009 at 7:30am - health - by letsloseweight (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (8715)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12433) - you deserved it (43742)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by Zitty (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6829) - you deserved it (52114)
On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58865) - you deserved it (9177)
On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)
Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36496) - you deserved it (1822)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:19pm - love - by blind_loser (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I turned 23. I had asked my mom for some things to decorate my new place. As I opened the box to reveal my gift, a mirror was inside. I liked the mirror. I did not like the note attached that said "Look inside the mirror to see who is now 100% financially responsible for themselves." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29756) - you deserved it (12931)
On 07/10/2009 at 12:08am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6301) - you deserved it (58509)
On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14987) - you deserved it (44765)
On 07/09/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by sadlife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7673) - you deserved it (70325)
On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40880) - you deserved it (5520)
On 07/08/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by disturbed2103 (man) - United States (California)
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