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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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whitneynicolie

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whitneynicolie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 140
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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whitneynicolie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

#4637795 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (47160) - you deserved it (3358)

On 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Girl - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I invited everyone to a gig I'm playing at a bar. They closed it down just for me when I told them how many people were attending, and I spent all day setting it up. Turns out nobody showed up besides my mom, my dad, and 2 of my cousins. I still had to play 7 songs in front of them. FML

#4546975 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (35149) - you deserved it (4590)

On 08/15/2009 at 11:02am - misc - by playinmyguitar (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after having a few beers at a bar, I gave my ticket to the valet to get my car. I tipped the man $2 and he gave me a huge smile and thanked me a lot as I left. I thought the guy was just really appreciative for those $2 until I got home and saw one of the $100 bills in my wallet was gone. FML

#4546368 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (8696) - you deserved it (37998)

On 08/15/2009 at 9:56am - money - by whooops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (39428) - you deserved it (5419)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (69509) - you deserved it (14725)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I borrowed my dad's laptop to type an essay. While I was saving it, I noticed some curious looking files and I opened them. They were rejection letters from all the colleges I had applied to. My dad had been forging them so he wouldn't have to pay for my tuition bills. FML

#4317825 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (61178) - you deserved it (1709)

On 08/05/2009 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML

#4158502 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (43469) - you deserved it (2490)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

#3669971 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (45782) - you deserved it (6144)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)