whiterose529

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whiterose529

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 932
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About whiterose529 : Hi there!

whiterose529's FML badges

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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whiterose529's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

by picklemonger / 12/08/2011 at 2:58pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 10:45am / United States / Geek

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

by G. Briones / 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm / Kids

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

by copshop / 11/10/2011 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Work

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2011 at 2:06am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

by wellthisisawkward80 / 11/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

by peonypiney / 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

by snownerd / 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

by Grounded / 11/03/2011 at 5:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 10:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous