About whiterose529 : Hi there!
About whiterose529 : Hi there!
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whiterose529's favorite FMLs
by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML
by picklemonger / 12/08/2011 at 2:58pm / Canada / Transportation
Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 10:45am / United States / Geek
by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
by copshop / 11/10/2011 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/10/2011 at 2:06am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
by wellthisisawkward80 / 11/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by peonypiney / 11/03/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML
by snownerd / 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
by Grounded / 11/03/2011 at 5:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 10:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…