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whiteboy896

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whiteboy896
  • Town/Country : Houston , USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 692
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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whiteboy896's last visitors

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whiteboy896's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of whiteboy896's badges

whiteboy896's favorite FMLs

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

#19993573
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11598) - you deserved it (33096)

On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML

#19943603
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (2265)

On 07/16/2012 at 12:08am - work - by crazyautio - United States

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

#19857408
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7491) - you deserved it (26287)

On 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm - kids - by apparantlyStupid - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5567) - you deserved it (43161)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (2837)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (7433)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

#19440828
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12990) - you deserved it (9980)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:35am - health - by logkitty - United States (California)

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8274) - you deserved it (50918)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

#18775724
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (6546)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35899) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25409) - you deserved it (2795)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33961) - you deserved it (4729)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15385) - you deserved it (48649)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)



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