whiteboy896

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Offline (the 04/27/2015 at 7:37pm)

whiteboy896

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2294
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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whiteboy896's page activity

Visits<b>Frowny</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 11:07pm<b>anak36</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:02pm<b>nousername111</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:40pm<b>KarrisTheWolf</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Jetpack_Penguin</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:36pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Ninjaboss246</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:28am<b>__Zorro__</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:52am<b>notsoanonymous3</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Balanar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:45am<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:34pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:48am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm<b>LoneWarden</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:35am<b>harrypotter955</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:20pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:21am<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:42am

whiteboy896's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of whiteboy896's badges

whiteboy896's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

by Queso Dog / 10/02/2012 at 10:42am / Japan / Love

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML

by crazyautio / 07/16/2012 at 12:08am / United States / Work

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

by apparantlyStupid / 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 1:44am / United States / Health

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

by blah56 / 06/23/2012 at 1:17am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

by KC / 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gun point, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

by logkitty / 04/10/2012 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Health

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

by BBFreak97 / 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / United Arab Emirates / Kids

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

by abby181 / 09/03/2011 at 10:36am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

by MakeMyDay_27 / 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids