whiteboy896

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Offline (the 04/27/2015 at 7:37pm)

whiteboy896

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2194
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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whiteboy896's page activity

Visits<b>Frowny</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 11:07pm<b>anak36</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:02pm<b>nousername111</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:40pm<b>KarrisTheWolf</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Jetpack_Penguin</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:36pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Ninjaboss246</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:28am<b>__Zorro__</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:52am<b>notsoanonymous3</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Balanar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:45am<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:34pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:48am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm<b>LoneWarden</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:35am<b>harrypotter955</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:20pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:21am<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:42am

whiteboy896's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of whiteboy896's badges

whiteboy896's favorite FMLs

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

by Renzy / 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm / Kids

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

by Saduglydad / 12/12/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

by mdg / 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

by karmamaybe / 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

by kise / 11/28/2012 at 1:20am / Health

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

by fnfantastic / 11/04/2012 at 11:37am / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 4:42am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals