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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13863) - you deserved it (39626)
On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34373) - you deserved it (6992)
On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27999) - you deserved it (2966)
On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States
Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (2903)
On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6106) - you deserved it (24232)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16167) - you deserved it (2111)
On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19239) - you deserved it (9773)
On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54324) - you deserved it (4928)
On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (3567)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)
Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (1304)
On 10/14/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by kidneystoner - United States (Texas)
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37534) - you deserved it (2187)
On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8370) - you deserved it (55591)
On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55811) - you deserved it (14109)
On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8243) - you deserved it (156299)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72551) - you deserved it (7925)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Monday 20 May 2013
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