whiteboy896

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Offline (the 04/27/2015 at 7:37pm)

whiteboy896

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2185
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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whiteboy896's page activity

Visits<b>Frowny</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 11:07pm<b>anak36</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:02pm<b>nousername111</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:40pm<b>KarrisTheWolf</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Jetpack_Penguin</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:36pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:51pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Ninjaboss246</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:28am<b>__Zorro__</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:52am<b>notsoanonymous3</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Balanar</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 5:45am<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:34pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:48am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm<b>LoneWarden</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:35am<b>harrypotter955</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 10:20pm<b>NineeCat</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 1:21am<b>Cheesus_Crust</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:42am

whiteboy896's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of whiteboy896's badges

whiteboy896's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

by Volunteer / 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm / Isle of Man / Intimacy

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

by Aly / 08/15/2013 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

by sisterly love / 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

by MarkQ95 / 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

by the hated / 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

by StockedWithJuice / 07/06/2013 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Love