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whiteboy896

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whiteboy896
  • Town/Country : Houston , USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 211
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

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whiteboy896's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13400) - you deserved it (19469)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (3549)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20535) - you deserved it (4914)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14641) - you deserved it (6291)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15563) - you deserved it (1482)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17436) - you deserved it (3157)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4664) - you deserved it (21217)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31154) - you deserved it (2168)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30155) - you deserved it (4300)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5575) - you deserved it (17382) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5383) - you deserved it (26366)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6909) - you deserved it (17237)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (1928)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (4574)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States



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