Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

whereismyb4con

Offline (yesterday at 9:19am) | Search for a member

whereismyb4con

27Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1306
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About whereismyb4con : Lover of video games, food, dinosaurs, animals, tv, naps, and whining

Slayer of bacon, lover of books, connoisseur of racist jokes

whereismyb4con's page activity

Visits<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:19pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 10:41am<b>VibratingMeerkat</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 7:01am<b>dragonvale19</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:33pm<b>Eating_Tin</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:17am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 3:03am<b>KnockNxtTime</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:49am<b>teresa96706</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 1:11am<b>uhmhaicats</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 12:13pm<b>SweetIam</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:12am<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:31pm<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:23pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:58pm<b>fuckinqbullshit</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:49pm<b>CandyPewPewPew</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:46pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:25pm<b>unscrupulous</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:19pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 7:36pm

Fucked!<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:31am<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:22pm<b>karcummings</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:47pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:11am<b>teresa96706</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:39pm<b>swaggyswagswag</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 4:27am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:46am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 2:36am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:34am<b>molly471</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:32am<b>charrbee90</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:53pm<b>lolonewsom</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:53am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:03pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:49am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:03am<b>Miss_Klutzie</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:24pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:14am<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:32am

whereismyb4con's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of whereismyb4con's badges

whereismyb4con's favorite FMLs

Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML

#420059
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69830) - you deserved it (7369)

On 03/17/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sebastian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML

#420059
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69830) - you deserved it (7369)

On 03/17/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sebastian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML

#400930
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (203921) - you deserved it (16934)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

#399721
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55842) - you deserved it (30293)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by kaichennnxx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81148) - you deserved it (5704)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82657) - you deserved it (20520)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243132) - you deserved it (82392)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: