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whatwhatbuttbutt's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 11:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ohokay / 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 10:14am / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML
by rightinthekarma / 12/19/2012 at 10:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Unhappymothersday / 05/17/2012 at 4:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff… Today, I went to a gay club with my supportive straight best friend to find me a date. Somehow, she… Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my…