wow. most of you people are fucking idiots.
the amount of stupid on this site just.... damn it really amazes and saddens me.
thank god to all the ones who have half a fucking brain.
by the way. FUCK you to all the people who call this EFF my life. you fucking pansies. go grow some BALLS mother fuckers.
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14703) - you totally deserved it (6968)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you totally deserved it (1440)
On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3799) - you totally deserved it (16549)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4198) - you totally deserved it (26869)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16488) - you totally deserved it (1628)
On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18407) - you totally deserved it (11325)
On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4965) - you totally deserved it (35272)
On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5678) - you totally deserved it (19635)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31695) - you totally deserved it (1905)
On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14482) - you totally deserved it (3584)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19100) - you totally deserved it (7694)
On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36615) - you totally deserved it (3413)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6231) - you totally deserved it (38939)
On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - misc - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12301) - you totally deserved it (29317)
On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23526) - you totally deserved it (1649)
On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
