[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

whattheeff

Search for a member

whattheeff
  • Town/Country : U.S.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11758
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About whattheeff : uhhhh, hi. (:
i'm pretty mellow except when I feel strongly about a certain opinion of mine.
i guess my life isn't FML worthy cause none of mine have ever been published. :P ohhh well.

whattheeff's last visitors

bex4life2Zwischeavalanche719

whattheeff's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

whattheeff's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167987) - you deserved it (51071)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

#555846 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (87703) - you deserved it (10265)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:38pm - love - by Rajin (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (97233) - you deserved it (8536)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML

#437815 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (10337) - you deserved it (58869)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (53970) - you deserved it (16140)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363113) - you deserved it (401463)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (19689) - you deserved it (34224)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (12902) - you deserved it (45114)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

#76555 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (9717) - you deserved it (41581)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:18am - health - by Machine (man) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

#70392 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (58229) - you deserved it (3089)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (42933) - you deserved it (16853)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141749) - you deserved it (53048)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

#19556 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (879) - you deserved it (17117)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by maxthndr (man) - United States