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whatsupitsbrian

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whatsupitsbrian
  • Town/Country : California , USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 220
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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whatsupitsbrian's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend the dentist said my blood pressure was high. He was more interested in the fact that the dentist took my blood pressure than my blood pressure being high. FML

#21095607
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30991) - you deserved it (8691)

On 03/24/2014 at 10:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36859) - you deserved it (9371)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44387) - you deserved it (6055)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39041) - you deserved it (7054)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40964) - you deserved it (3836)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47001) - you deserved it (3522)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42661) - you deserved it (12100)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43782) - you deserved it (16984)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65028) - you deserved it (3959)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50541) - you deserved it (11264)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48276) - you deserved it (29427)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML



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