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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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whatsgoingon6

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whatsgoingon6
  • Town/Country : Philadelphia, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 483
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

#7022853 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (2202)

On 12/29/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by sickofsick - United States

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

#6679644 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (5152) - you deserved it (47821)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

#6660964 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (10597) - you deserved it (30104)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)

Today, I finally released my first music album. I dropped out of college to pay for it after my friends who liked my music urged me to. They keep telling me how much they love the CD. I've only sold one copy. Turns out they put it on a sharing site so only one of them would have to buy it. FML

#6546690 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (9658)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:57am - misc - by Rob (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

#6540223 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (27733) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Cpm (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML

#6537885 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (6612)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Stressmess - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

#6532769 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (6636)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (9943) - you deserved it (27747)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (49768) - you deserved it (4754)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (31809) - you deserved it (2297)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML

#6322729 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (12796) - you deserved it (23741)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:32am - love - by Manstobe92 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML

#6310679 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (5315)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore

Today, I decided to wear a tight, long-sleeved shirt that showed off my body. As I was trying to roll up my sleeves, I realized how tight this shirt really was. It wouldn't budge past my elbow and I tugged to hard I ended up punching myself in the eye. I now have a swollen, black and blue eye. FML

#6308851 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (4869) - you deserved it (21943)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (4490) - you deserved it (47675)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)