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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56128) - you deserved it (11295)
On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53965) - you deserved it (2729)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands
Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38847) - you deserved it (2737)
On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30601) - you deserved it (6006)
On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (9252)
Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37517) - you deserved it (2801)
On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39067) - you deserved it (4073)
On 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm - money - by honeynuggetviolin -
Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (36917)
On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37071) - you deserved it (2910)
On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34751) - you deserved it (12087)
On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (15926)
On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)
Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (6461)
On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)
Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45669) - you deserved it (2858)
On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)
Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39884) - you deserved it (4486) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39529) - you deserved it (11127)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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