whateverwillwork

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Offline (the 04/25/2015 at 7:01am)

whateverwillwork

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15568
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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whateverwillwork's page activity

Visits<b>RAH94</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:58am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:09pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:19pm<b>GetIt23</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:37am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:57pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 4:04pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 2:48pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 1:20am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 1:34pm<b>pistachiopanda</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 7:36am<b>hope1103</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 8:59am<b>briebrianalove</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:31pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 1:34am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 4:21am<b>LivexForever21</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 4:13pm<b>oh_your_god</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 3:31am<b>dblogic</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 1:20am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 2:13pm

whateverwillwork's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of whateverwillwork's badges

whateverwillwork's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

by bademployee / 08/12/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 1:55pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

by marcranger / 08/11/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

by poorman / 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

by painedandpissed / 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 4:56am / Malawi / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

by lonethong15 / 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm / Israel / Intimacy

Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML

by mamagelmane / 08/08/2014 at 12:27am / France (Lorraine) / Kids

Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML

by TzarErik / 08/06/2014 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

by whymyroomthough / 08/06/2014 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Kids