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whateverwillwork's favorite FMLs
by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML
by breyn / 02/18/2015 at 2:48pm / United States / Work
Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2015 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Work
Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML
by chloe_zjk / 02/18/2015 at 12:22am / France / Work
by cactii / 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML
by notdaddy / 02/16/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by JefferyLillie / 01/07/2015 at 3:31am / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
by Proposal Fail / 01/01/2015 at 12:47am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML
by bridezilla / 12/31/2014 at 2:47am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health
by anonymous / 12/23/2014 at 6:28am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous
Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML
by Soulara89 / 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML
by thanksmom / 12/22/2014 at 6:15pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/19/2014 at 5:41am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML
by thankssomuch / 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Maine) / Work
by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…