About wetqueefa : My cat just died. I have an art degree from a night school. I have overian cyst. I get a clicking sound in my jaw whenever I eat. Sometimes I pee the bed still. I lost 25% control of my sphincter muscles. The only man that wants to fuck me is my 48 year old manager from Taco Bell. P.S. He only has one ball.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Up and coming moderator
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21306) - you deserved it (3350)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (5295) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (2495)
On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17304) - you deserved it (2004)
On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (6167)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (19749)
On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (4375)
On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46092) - you deserved it (7654)
On 06/26/2010 at 6:31am - health - by the_pheasant66 - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460125) - you deserved it (571718)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70911) - you deserved it (8739)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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