wetqueefa

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wetqueefa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 380
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About wetqueefa : My cat just died. I have an art degree from a night school. I have overian cyst. I get a clicking sound in my jaw whenever I eat. Sometimes I pee the bed still. I lost 25% control of my sphincter muscles. The only man that wants to fuck me is my 48 year old manager from Taco Bell. P.S. He only has one ball.

wetqueefa's page activity

Visits<b>joshklander</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 4:49pm<b>RayRayYoooo</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 6:33pm<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 11:30pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:39pm<b>canadianhottie</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 12:02am<b>yulong730</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:00pm<b>StephIsCoollyk</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 3:53pm<b>squalks75</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 11:38pm<b>firestar772</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 1:28am

wetqueefa's FML badges

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wetqueefa's favorite FMLs

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

by legitweirdo / 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 10:44am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

by Jessica / 08/21/2012 at 4:21am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

by Autocorrected / 03/04/2012 at 12:02am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Love

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. When I got home to show my family, my little sister said, "That's so fake!" and tore it off my face. FML

by the_pheasant66 / 06/26/2010 at 6:31am / Ireland (Dublin) / Health

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

by janedoe / 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work