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wetqueefa

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wetqueefa

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 207
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About wetqueefa : My cat just died. I have an art degree from a night school. I have overian cyst. I get a clicking sound in my jaw whenever I eat. Sometimes I pee the bed still. I lost 25% control of my sphincter muscles. The only man that wants to fuck me is my 48 year old manager from Taco Bell. P.S. He only has one ball.

wetqueefa's page activity

Visits<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 2:39pm<b>canadianhottie</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 12:02am<b>yulong730</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 4:00pm<b>StephIsCoollyk</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 3:53pm<b>squalks75</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 11:38pm<b>firestar772</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 1:28am

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wetqueefa's favorite FMLs

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57673) - you deserved it (6814)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97962) - you deserved it (11350)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

#20573279
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39379) - you deserved it (6068)

On 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by poop (man) -

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55040) - you deserved it (4421) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, the people living below me have been blasting their music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day. The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast their music just as loudly in revenge. I have two very important exams tomorrow. FML

#20515010
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33836) - you deserved it (2910)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29666) - you deserved it (4012)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20619) - you deserved it (38072)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my mom drenched in tears, barely able to speak. I ran to get her some tissues and a nice cup of tea to calm her down. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, I asked her if she wanted to talk about what happened. She watched an episode of Gossip Girl. FML

#20491267
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27853) - you deserved it (2739)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:58am - misc - by wetqueefa (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38918) - you deserved it (3295)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (3643)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (7523)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

#20457387
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (2262)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31426) - you deserved it (2652)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30525) - you deserved it (4317)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)



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