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werpidyderp

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 9:48pm) | Search for a member

werpidyderp

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  • Number of visits : 223
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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werpidyderp's page activity

Visits<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:30pm<b>MurphyGallagher</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 9:04am

werpidyderp's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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werpidyderp's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52309) - you deserved it (4051)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (53918)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62235) - you deserved it (22174)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59439) - you deserved it (20961)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58200) - you deserved it (4585)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84137) - you deserved it (8041)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81486) - you deserved it (5565)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65700) - you deserved it (12625)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (5349)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

#20518428
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45386) - you deserved it (3835)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34518) - you deserved it (6689)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34016) - you deserved it (5798)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

#20458188
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34400) - you deserved it (6170)

On 01/13/2013 at 11:49pm - animals - by Abendigo77 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29206) - you deserved it (6007)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)



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