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werpidyderp

Offline (the 10/09/2014 at 9:17pm) | Search for a member

werpidyderp

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  • Number of visits : 272
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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werpidyderp's page activity

Visits<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:30pm<b>MurphyGallagher</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 9:04am

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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werpidyderp's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (6662)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43576) - you deserved it (4979)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (8565)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

#21124319
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42412) - you deserved it (7316)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40398) - you deserved it (16909)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

#21123165
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35143) - you deserved it (6353)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:22am - misc - by vee2013 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met a cute guy, and everything went great. After a while, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Now he won't stop texting me, asking for pictures of my toes. FML

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
107 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46079) - you deserved it (5704)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49892) - you deserved it (13838)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53792) - you deserved it (13373)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57830) - you deserved it (8967)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52027) - you deserved it (4704)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55997) - you deserved it (7048)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML

#21112284
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32676) - you deserved it (10414)

On 04/13/2014 at 9:32pm - misc - by ohmygod582 (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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