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Today... I was giving mah boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I lookd down... and he had piece of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today , I overhered my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns u into like , half-chick , half-dude." He was serious. How am I relatd to this moron? FML
Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML
Today , In The Middle Of Mah Boyfriend Finally Giving Me An Orgasm , I Had An Anxiety Attack,hich Causd Him To Have An Attack Of His Own . I Guess There Is Such A Thing As Having Too Much In Common With Yur Partner . FML
Today, I accidentally said te wrong name during sex. Tat name just appened to be "Sara", wic is bot my ex-grlfriend's name an my wife's sister's name. Wen se asked me wic one I meant, I panicked an said, "Bot." FML
Friday 27 March 2015