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werpidyderp

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werpidyderp

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  • Number of visits : 108
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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werpidyderp's page activity

Visits<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:30pm<b>MurphyGallagher</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 9:04am

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werpidyderp's favorite FMLs

Today, my long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML

Today, I accidentally ripped out my boyfriend's insulin pump while trying to give him a lapdance. FML

#21148769
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45044) - you deserved it (13001)

On 05/22/2014 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, in the middle of my boyfriend finally giving me an orgasm, I had an anxiety attack, which caused him to have an attack of his own. I guess there is such a thing as having too much in common with your partner. FML

#21146226
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47106) - you deserved it (5462)

On 05/20/2014 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
191 comments

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30558) - you deserved it (49682)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53066) - you deserved it (6169)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37318) - you deserved it (19806)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47967) - you deserved it (16570)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45804) - you deserved it (16475)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40918) - you deserved it (5957)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42440) - you deserved it (4574)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML

#21125262
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40682) - you deserved it (7965)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

#21124319
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41893) - you deserved it (7229)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38918) - you deserved it (15978)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada



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