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weedle99

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weedle99

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 892
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About weedle99 : Hi

weedle99's page activity

Visits<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:22am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:12pm<b>makkarari</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 6:45pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 4:35pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 9:30pm<b>xMaeLA</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 2:48am<b>SuperCasual</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:45pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:51am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 10:52am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:47pm<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 1:53pm<b>buckman1011</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:35am<b>LickitungJr</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 11:40am<b>ajh1551</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:53pm<b>HowAreYouToday</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 10:07pm<b>xThatOneWeirdGuy</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:04pm<b>dachayke</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 3:27pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:39pm

weedle99's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of weedle99's badges

weedle99's favorite FMLs

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (1561)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after our flight got cancelled back home, I called the airline to work out a replacement flight. I sat in hold for 2 hours waiting as patiently as I could. Then, the automated voice says, "There are no available agents. Good bye." FML

Today, I was leaving the house to go on a date. My dad stopped me at the door and said confidently, "Tear that pussy up, son." I'm gay and my dad knows that. FML

#21519039
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (3882)

On 01/24/2016 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, I got fired from my job because I closed the store 84 seconds early. They found out because the state manager was sitting across the street with binoculars watching me. FML

#21501348
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (3601)

On 12/08/2015 at 1:17am - work - by unemployed-dude - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

#21495829
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (5243)

On 11/23/2015 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Stuby14 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML

#21494419
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23567) - you deserved it (1492)

On 11/19/2015 at 12:26pm - misc - by anonynomi - United States (California)

Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML

#21487723
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (4203)

On 11/03/2015 at 2:14am - love - by I'm my husband's second mom - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML

#21483299
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26289) - you deserved it (6069)

On 10/23/2015 at 4:17am - work - by idontmakethedresscode - United States (California)

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

#21483245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25545) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/23/2015 at 12:05am - work - by Embarrassed ass. (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

#21479950
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24985) - you deserved it (2862)

On 10/14/2015 at 10:29am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML

#21479165
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (2802)

On 10/12/2015 at 5:28pm - kids - by lemonchips - Norway

Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML

#21477518
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14903) - you deserved it (17530)

On 10/08/2015 at 12:04pm - work - by shitbucketsfilledwithshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the nicest present I received for my 18th birthday was a free razor in the mail. It was then stolen by my mom. FML



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