weazelpi

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weazelpi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 687
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About weazelpi : I am me.

weazelpi's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of weazelpi's badges

weazelpi's favorite FMLs

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

by Fire sucks. / 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

by rholt / 01/14/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

by ShelterForTheHomless / 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

by loganHchrist / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

by stalked / 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

by -__- / 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

by romance sucks. / 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my OCD has got so bad that I took over 10 pictures of my house's power outlets before leaving, just so I could view them later to reassure myself that no appliances were plugged in. FML

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

by Ramis182 / 12/16/2013 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

by lavenderpiss / 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

by Cat Piss / 12/15/2013 at 11:58am / United States (Texas) / Animals