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wavesofblue

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  • Number of visits : 1973
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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wavesofblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a text from my ex: "I miss you." I was happy to hear this, so I replied "Really?" I got in return "Not really, I'm just really horny and thinking of you." FML

#13285189
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29151) - you deserved it (5117)

On 10/02/2010 at 2:25am - intimacy - by rawr101 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17286) - you deserved it (41139)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

#13273725
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40450) - you deserved it (4480)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML

#13270090
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21487) - you deserved it (2538)

On 09/30/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44707) - you deserved it (4835)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16775) - you deserved it (38648)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

#13241865
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39953) - you deserved it (2851)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML

#13241516
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (44610)

On 09/28/2010 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my boyfriend had his phone taken away by his dad for this past week. I have been sending him naked photos and other naughty things this entire week, or so I thought. FML

#13223066
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13368) - you deserved it (35071)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Liz - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

#13221595
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23636) - you deserved it (8612)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I found a video of my girlfriend having sex with her male best friend on her computer. When I confronted her about it she said it was from before we met. In the video, she was wearing the engagement ring I bought her. FML

#13221362
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55348) - you deserved it (3262)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML

#13221173
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (3894)

On 09/27/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by cinderella (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

#13217380
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14938) - you deserved it (29358)

On 09/27/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by youaresodumb - United States (Alabama)

Today, I made exactly 400 flashcards of my vocab that I had to memorize. It took me over 3 hours to make them and hours to remember them. Proud of myself, I showed them to my friends. Then my friends notified me I had memorized the wrong section. FML

#13199866
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14637) - you deserved it (21564)

On 09/25/2010 at 8:15pm - misc - by educatttiiioonnn (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

#13194078
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22640) - you deserved it (4131)

On 09/25/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)



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