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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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waterynuggets

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waterynuggets
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3273
  • Number of comments : 842
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About waterynuggets : Cry moar, plz.

"I'm a daft twit most of the time"
#24 - On 12/10/2009 at 4:57am by Alan (FML Staff) [true spokesperson]

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waterynuggets's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756 (316)

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (7653)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068 (348)

I agree, your life sucks (12501) - you deserved it (49185)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (1058)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

#8516806 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (4809)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (23254) - you deserved it (4735)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (11718) - you deserved it (28181)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

#7454643 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (2812)

On 01/20/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (18411) - you deserved it (3337)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (11361) - you deserved it (1837)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

#7293209 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (4074)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by Absent - France

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (6951) - you deserved it (26146)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

#7110537 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (16600) - you deserved it (3996)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by garfwebba (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

#7097610 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (5601) - you deserved it (17176)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (3041)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)