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watchwhileusleep

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 265
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About watchwhileusleep : I come here to be entertained. Don't take things personally. Chumps.

watchwhileusleep's page activity

Visits<b>amoredeniro</b> - yesterday at 2:04pm<b>tempermental</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:48pm<b>Mafia_</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:12pm<b>JadeKnives</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:52pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:58pm<b>supersavvy</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:18am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 6:01am<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 5:58pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 9:06am<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:03pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:32pm<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 8:53am<b>Daaaan</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 9:24pm<b>viva_la_blondes</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 2:48pm<b>LissaMccracken</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:16pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:05am<b>lirideout</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 7:58pm<b>XxXBadAshXxX</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 3:11am

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watchwhileusleep's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45574) - you deserved it (5272)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44068) - you deserved it (6500)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57785) - you deserved it (5618)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

#21123165
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34783) - you deserved it (6303)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:22am - misc - by vee2013 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (55434)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46482) - you deserved it (9216)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41817) - you deserved it (3928)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

#21066687
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24317) - you deserved it (47507)

On 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm - misc - by time to lawyer up (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

#21062639
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18958) - you deserved it (43921)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm - kids - by lyss - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50542) - you deserved it (3426)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56161) - you deserved it (3151)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57323) - you deserved it (8221)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49312) - you deserved it (4938)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34700) - you deserved it (71442)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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