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watchme's favorite FMLs
Today, I got mugged. But luckily I had on my keyring the pepper spray that my husband had insisted I keep with me. Unlucky for me, my husband's co-worker, who borrowed my keys, emptied my pepper by spraying it on a brick wall one day when he was bored. FML
by Username / 02/08/2011 at 10:27pm / Miscellaneous
by Anon. / 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy
Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, I sat across from a cute boy in my English class. I thought it was cute when he winked at me, so I laughed and winked back. I didn't understand why he shot me a dirty look, until I later found out he has eyelid spasms. FML
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 1:12am / United States / Love
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
by Mervin22 / 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
by JordanVilleneuve / 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Utah) / Kids
Today, after some filing mistakes, and a lot of waiting on hold, I'm finally registered for Spring classes. I was ready to enjoy this term, until I found out that my ex, who was forced into therapy after he threatened to kill me, is in half of my classes. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2011 at 3:13am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Love
Today, I'm 19 years old and, having never been on a date, I agreed to let my friend set me up. He was adorable, young, with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 years old. My friend tricked me into babysitting. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
Today, I mailed out a college application that is going to another country. I paid $250 for the application and $11 for shipping. I just realized that I forgot to sign the bottom of the application. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 8:05pm / United States (California) / Money
by Some Girl / 01/08/2011 at 1:38am / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
by poop / 01/07/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Work