Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

watchclock

Search for a member

watchclock
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 111
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

watchclock's last visitors

kingofthediamondwatdoisay

watchclock's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of watchclock's badges

watchclock's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36794) - you deserved it (5230)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a history project back that I worked very hard on. The teacher didn't bother to write any feedback, besides, "Did you even understand the assignment?" on the back. FML

#21096559
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32686) - you deserved it (5379)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by student101 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

#21095237
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35450) - you deserved it (2784)

On 03/24/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by bloodyhell - United States (Colorado)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (15264)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (5615)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML

#21093737
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (11062)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36874) - you deserved it (9375)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

#21092926
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (3314)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by please stop singing!!!! - United States (Florida)

Today, three days before I take my bar exam, the biggest exam of my life, I got my monthly. And I get to bring my belongings in a clear plastic bag so the world knows. FML

#21092507
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you deserved it (7972)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:09am - health - by SeriouslyMakeItStop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41111) - you deserved it (8646)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

#21091068
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29706) - you deserved it (2782)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm - work - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41518) - you deserved it (3112)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML

#21090716
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39629) - you deserved it (3475)

On 03/19/2014 at 8:28am - work - by pale-suzie (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (5563)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML

#21090330
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29252) - you deserved it (3849)

On 03/18/2014 at 9:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Lancashire)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: