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warstler35's favorite FMLs
by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by The fuck, junior? / 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML
by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 6:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by hesgonnahateme / 06/06/2013 at 1:08am / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm / Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML
by WTF / 06/01/2013 at 12:03am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by disappointed dad / 05/19/2013 at 3:35am / United States / Kids
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
by dating walter white's gf apparently / 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy
- Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear… Today, after three months of them dating, I finally met the guy my best friend claims she's in love… Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've…