Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

waroftheroses

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

waroftheroses

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 558
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

waroftheroses's page activity

Visits<b>BandGeekJ</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:14am<b>besosforme</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:48am<b>purelymixed</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:05am<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:32am<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:29am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:35pm<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:18am<b>josh_avila9</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:21am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:34pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:55am<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:51am<b>victorsaurus01</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:46pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:19pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:46pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:39am<b>gilliano</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:54am

Fucked!<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:06pm

waroftheroses's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of waroftheroses's badges

waroftheroses's favorite FMLs

Today, I came inside a girl's vagina by accident. Neither one of us wants her to be pregnant, and I had to spend half an hour with her sitting on my face, while I sucked my own cum out of her. I don't even know if this will work. FML

#21524955
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4639) - you deserved it (24336)

On 02/10/2016 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by nickncik (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML

#21508172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18768) - you deserved it (9675)

On 12/26/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by oldskoolfun - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was heading home after getting off work at 5 in the morning, when a deer slid out in front of my car. Not jumped. Slid. Thanks, winter. FML

#21503222
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (1432)

On 12/13/2015 at 7:45am - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

#21497787
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/28/2015 at 9:32am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyfml (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was officially diagnosed with OCD. My mother's reaction? "That's not possible, she's a fucking slob." FML

#21497646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22817) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/27/2015 at 10:21pm - misc - by AlwaysTired - United States (California)

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

#21494871
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (4796)

On 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28022) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML

#21489448
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26693) - you deserved it (2892)

On 11/07/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML

#21482431
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36047) - you deserved it (2315)

On 10/21/2015 at 12:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

#21477124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (1978)

On 10/07/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by T-Bear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting outside in a pair of shorts. After about 15 minutes of getting weird looks from people, I realized my cock was sticking out of a hole that wasn't in my shorts when I put them on. FML

#21475308
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (4982)

On 10/02/2015 at 10:22am - misc - by soulaar - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

#21467707
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26556) - you deserved it (1758)

On 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm - kids - by auraya1985 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (2773)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: