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waroftheroses

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waroftheroses

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  • Number of visits : 135
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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waroftheroses's page activity

Visits<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 11:08pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 7:26pm<b>BillMurray</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:26am<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:36am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 10:08pm<b>Ichiya</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 7:50pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:57pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:23am<b>msunique_me</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:12pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:40am<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:52am<b>akorpija</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:19pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:35am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:05am<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:13pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:46am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:16am<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:50am

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waroftheroses's favorite FMLs

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29885) - you deserved it (3405)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (6163)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (8212)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (2222)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31537) - you deserved it (4164)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43209) - you deserved it (3813)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

#21295699
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30122) - you deserved it (6211)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37234) - you deserved it (4655)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39624) - you deserved it (3408)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28779) - you deserved it (3314)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38935) - you deserved it (6186)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (3357)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29085) - you deserved it (3339)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37590) - you deserved it (4968)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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