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waroftheroses

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waroftheroses

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 284
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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waroftheroses's page activity

Visits<b>BandGeekJ</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:14am<b>besosforme</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:48am<b>purelymixed</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:05am<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:32am<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:29am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:35pm<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:18am<b>josh_avila9</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:21am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:34pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:55am<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:51am<b>victorsaurus01</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:46pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:19pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:46pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:39am<b>gilliano</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:54am

Fucked!<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:06pm

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waroftheroses's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

#21435249
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19857) - you deserved it (2507) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2015 at 12:30am - misc - by Smeagogole - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

Today, my girlfriend came back from her mission trip with hickies all over her boobs. She said it wasn't cheating because she was doing God's work and that they canceled each other out. FML

#21432849
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (2276)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:29pm - love - by isaidfuckoff (woman) - United States

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (2128)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (1801)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

#21430908
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (3122)

On 06/23/2015 at 10:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

#21430016
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (3544)

On 06/22/2015 at 7:35am - work - by Iamsosorry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (12340)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (3679)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28321) - you deserved it (11574)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29939) - you deserved it (8541)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35773) - you deserved it (2577)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

#21426929
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26496) - you deserved it (4444)

On 06/16/2015 at 8:05am - intimacy - by poorlyparented - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me, got up, and slammed the door. FML

#21424579
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32490) - you deserved it (2268)

On 06/11/2015 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by lolatmylovelife - United States (Texas)



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