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waroftheroses

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 3:00am) | Search for a member

waroftheroses

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  • Number of visits : 106
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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waroftheroses's page activity

Visits<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:57pm<b>SingingWolf</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:23am<b>msunique_me</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:12pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:40am<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:52am<b>akorpija</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:19pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:35am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:05am<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:13pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:46am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:16am<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:50am<b>singer0421</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:56am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 8:20pm<b>maffy11</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:00pm<b>AnimeRules1125</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:19pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 5:10pm<b>PlayLeagueAllDay</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 3:18pm

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waroftheroses's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26557) - you deserved it (3170)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (4838)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45137) - you deserved it (3476)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33460) - you deserved it (5690)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41304) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50614) - you deserved it (9729)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36606) - you deserved it (12410)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37563) - you deserved it (6746)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45687) - you deserved it (7608)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39522) - you deserved it (2970)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (38662)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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