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waroftheroses

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waroftheroses

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 353
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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waroftheroses's page activity

Visits<b>BandGeekJ</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:14am<b>besosforme</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:48am<b>purelymixed</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:05am<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:32am<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:29am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:35pm<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:18am<b>josh_avila9</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:21am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:34pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:55am<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:51am<b>victorsaurus01</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:46pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:19pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:46pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:39am<b>gilliano</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:54am

Fucked!<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:06pm

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waroftheroses's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9478) - you deserved it (28252)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28796) - you deserved it (3551)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

#21451285
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26411) - you deserved it (14018)

On 08/03/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16879) - you deserved it (27362)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (2756)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

#21443849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (1985)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30738) - you deserved it (4253)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (4519)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33214) - you deserved it (2322)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

#21438922
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (8594)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:20am - intimacy - by who_cares - United States (California)



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