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waroftheroses

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waroftheroses

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  • Number of visits : 204
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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waroftheroses's page activity

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Liked!<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:06pm

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waroftheroses's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32289) - you deserved it (2193)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35381) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25060) - you deserved it (13064)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

#21371408
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5) - you deserved it (2391)

On 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm - misc - by MyMomIsInsane - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42990) - you deserved it (19414)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

#21368822
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (1)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4) - you deserved it (6)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7) - you deserved it (1)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18181) - you deserved it (4)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29179) - you deserved it (3139)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

#21361729
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31149) - you deserved it (5186)

On 02/23/2015 at 12:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32983) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3) - you deserved it (30742)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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