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Offline (the 06/18/2016 at 12:13am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 976
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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waroftheroses's page activity

Visits<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 10:13am<b>BandGeekJ</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:14am<b>besosforme</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:48am<b>purelymixed</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:05am<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:32am<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:29am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:35pm<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:18am<b>josh_avila9</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:21am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:34pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:55am<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:51am<b>victorsaurus01</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:46pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:19pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:46pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:39am

Fucked!<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:06pm

waroftheroses's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of waroftheroses's badges

waroftheroses's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

by dad, please / 05/16/2016 at 1:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my now fully vaccinated puppy went to a restaurant for the first time. They allow clean, well-behaved dogs. He threw up everywhere from excitement. FML

by Pupluv183 / 05/02/2016 at 12:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML

by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy

Today, I was pretending a long corridor at work was a catwalk, when a coworker walked out just in time to see me prancing around like an idiot. Now the whole building is laughing about it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 6:39am / United States (California) / Work

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML

by itsnotyouitsme / 04/20/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I finally had to accept that I have feelings for a very cute and funny guy. It wouldn't be so bad if he weren't my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally had to accept that I have feelings for a very cute and funny guy. It wouldn't be so bad if he weren't my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

by Crap / 04/12/2016 at 12:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML

by dudster25 / 04/10/2016 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML

by ishyboo / 02/27/2016 at 5:59pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML

by oldskoolfun / 12/26/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was heading home after getting off work at 5 in the morning, when a deer slid out in front of my car. Not jumped. Slid. Thanks, winter. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2015 at 7:45am / Transportation

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

by ohgodwhyfml / 11/28/2015 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

Today, I was officially diagnosed with OCD. My mother's reaction? "That's not possible, she's a fucking slob." FML

by AlwaysTired / 11/27/2015 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous