Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

waroftheroses

Search for a member

waroftheroses

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 63
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

waroftheroses's page activity

Visits<b>SingingWolf</b> - yesterday at 1:23am<b>msunique_me</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:12pm<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:40am<b>FaultInMyStars</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:52am<b>akorpija</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:19pm<b>anonfmler08</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:35am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:05am<b>RainbowxxVeinsx</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:13pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 11:46am<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:16am<b>zeriously95</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:13am<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 7:50am<b>singer0421</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:56am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 8:20pm<b>maffy11</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 7:00pm<b>AnimeRules1125</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:19pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 5:10pm<b>PlayLeagueAllDay</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 3:18pm

waroftheroses's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of waroftheroses's badges

waroftheroses's favorite FMLs

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33960) - you deserved it (5996)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35314) - you deserved it (14444)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42530) - you deserved it (11076)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33021) - you deserved it (10785)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19794) - you deserved it (46483)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36199) - you deserved it (4837)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50006) - you deserved it (4176)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52887) - you deserved it (3815)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43815) - you deserved it (5135)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38840) - you deserved it (4959)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41244) - you deserved it (13479)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

#21205262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37624) - you deserved it (19511)

On 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm - work - by dammit hearing aid - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39379) - you deserved it (4834)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: