Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 412
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

waroftheroses's page activity

Visits<b>BandGeekJ</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:14am<b>besosforme</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:48am<b>purelymixed</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:05am<b>bekkylove22</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:32am<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:29am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:34pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:35pm<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:18am<b>josh_avila9</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:21am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:34pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:55am<b>CrazyZebra</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:51am<b>victorsaurus01</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 2:46pm<b>akorpija</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:19pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 2:46pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Mr_Satan</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 9:39am<b>gilliano</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 7:54am

Fucked!<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:06pm

waroftheroses's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of waroftheroses's badges

waroftheroses's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting outside in a pair of shorts. After about 15 minutes of getting weird looks from people, I realized my cock was sticking out of a hole that wasn't in my shorts when I put them on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (3886)

On 10/02/2015 at 10:22am - misc - by soulaar - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20910) - you deserved it (1638)

On 09/28/2015 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML


I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (1667)

On 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm - kids - by auraya1985 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (2232)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10356) - you deserved it (30575)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (4237)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26721) - you deserved it (14226)

On 08/03/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18043) - you deserved it (29148)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27667) - you deserved it (2967)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24375) - you deserved it (2157)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (4397)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML


I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (5125)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: