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waresjake

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waresjake

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  • Number of visits : 540
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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waresjake's page activity

Visits<b>danthehuman</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:53pm<b>wowdoge</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:30am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 7:51am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 7:29pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 9:12am<b>ForeverFat</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 2:19pm<b>debsamazing</b> - the 04/20/2012 at 1:48am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/03/2012 at 9:23pm<b>perdix</b> - the 04/03/2012 at 9:08am<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/03/2012 at 5:07am

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

waresjake's favorite FMLs

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20931) - you deserved it (2853)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

#19260782
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (3026)

On 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24446) - you deserved it (2582)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7342) - you deserved it (24160)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (4340)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

#18573641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27894) - you deserved it (3917)

On 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm - animals - by kaipodable - United States (California)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (6337)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34537) - you deserved it (7577)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31123) - you deserved it (5284)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

#13624785
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (4100)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:07am - animals - by scratchpost (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28550) - you deserved it (4624)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

#6883873
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (11384)

On 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm - work - by ohshat (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (3157)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45178) - you deserved it (4262)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)



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