waresjake

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waresjake

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1151
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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waresjake's page activity

Visits<b>weedle99</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 7:11am<b>Starzak</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 12:25am<b>Jthewat</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Greions</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:23am<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:11am<b>thatkidyouknow1</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:25am<b>ashlynnloveslou</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:54pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:53pm<b>wowdoge</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 2:30am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 7:51am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 7:29pm<b>Kar0</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 9:12am<b>ForeverFat</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 2:19pm<b>debsamazing</b> - the 04/20/2012 at 1:48am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 04/03/2012 at 9:23pm<b>perdix</b> - the 04/03/2012 at 9:08am<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/03/2012 at 5:07am

waresjake's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

waresjake's favorite FMLs

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

by Chey / 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

by me / 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

by Stung / 02/10/2012 at 9:13am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

by oh.geez / 02/05/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

by kaipodable / 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

by douglas / 07/17/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals

Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML

by scratchpost / 10/28/2010 at 8:07am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML

by ohshat / 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

by Silent / 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids