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wantmeasandwich

Offline (the 05/14/2015 at 8:56am) | Search for a member

wantmeasandwich

3Fucked!

wantmeasandwichwantmeasandwich
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1469
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About wantmeasandwich : I said I want me a sandwich. Now get it.

wantmeasandwich's page activity

Visits<b>Ilikeguitar</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 11:48am<b>skymachine</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 1:35am<b>A07</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:03pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:44am<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:03am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 9:13am<b>K_kanaka</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:31am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:11am<b>cate18</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:37am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:06pm<b>amcquaid</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 5:33pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:56pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 12:17am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:51am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:56pm<b>iop330</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 2:04pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:34pm

Fucked!<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:03pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:17am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:57pm

wantmeasandwich's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of wantmeasandwich's badges

wantmeasandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst visiting an unfamiliar office site for work, I was conversing with my boss about the possibility of considering myself for a managing position in the future. I then unintentionally followed him to the bathroom whilst walking and texting. FML

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

#21408360
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (3881)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

#21407637
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (4266)

On 05/10/2015 at 4:40am - love - by gassygirlfriend - United States (Idaho)

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

#21407351
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27657) - you deserved it (1958)

On 05/09/2015 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

#21406874
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28978) - you deserved it (2356)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18094) - you deserved it (34002)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

#21406460
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (7324)

On 05/07/2015 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by Bonnie and Clyde - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, I saw a lady with a stroller in the park. She stopped at the water fountain and got a drink, then left without her baby. I ran to the stroller and started rolling it after her. Two grown men attacked me, accusing me of trying to steal said baby. Turns out it was a baby doll. FML

#21397871
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (2124)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:31am - kids - by ireallylikecats - United States

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

#21391724
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (16925)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:34am - health - by jamisbetter - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (16620)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31927) - you deserved it (2502)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28366) - you deserved it (3655)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

#21383678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (2053)

On 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by coldasfire - United States



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