Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wantmeasandwich

Offline (the 09/01/2015 at 6:40am) | Search for a member

wantmeasandwich

7Fucked!

wantmeasandwichwantmeasandwich
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1888
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About wantmeasandwich : I said I want me a sandwich. Now get it.

wantmeasandwich's page activity

Visits<b>TheBelt</b> - yesterday at 7:47pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 5:41pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 2:56pm<b>RunIfYouCan</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:43am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:31pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 3:59pm<b>Dunwannaname</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 6:18pm<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:18pm<b>killjoyx</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:38pm<b>hayleymaybe</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:17pm<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:03am<b>lindacollins423</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:21am<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 8:16pm<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:27pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 4:30am<b>CommentKing207</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 1:27am<b>jayemerald17</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:33am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:08pm

Fucked!<b>killjoyx</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:38am<b>CommentKing207</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 7:27am<b>jayemerald17</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 3:33pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:37pm<b>jackroarrr</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:03pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:17am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:57pm

wantmeasandwich's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of wantmeasandwich's badges

wantmeasandwich's favorite FMLs

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (8954)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML

Today, I'm lying awake at 2 in the morning listening to the police helicopter circle my house yet again. I recently moved near quiet woodland to escape the traffic noise that disturbed my sleep. Quiet woodland where apparently the local criminals play midnight hide-and-seek with the police. FML

Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML

#21451650
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20058) - you deserved it (5826)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:33am - love - by that girl has a beard - Canada

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (1886)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27064) - you deserved it (2757)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (2466)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (3009)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I guest-played as a catcher for a new fastpitch softball team. After the first couple of innings, the batter fouled a ball back into my catcher's mask. As a concussion test, the coach asked me what her name was. I decided to fake the concussion rather than admit that I'd forgotten her name. FML

#21438439
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (5504)

On 07/08/2015 at 9:58am - health - by Softball - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

#21437372
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (6654)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by notacreep - United States (California)

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

#21436223
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26238) - you deserved it (4769)

On 07/04/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

#21435204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24347) - you deserved it (3788)

On 07/02/2015 at 1:53am - intimacy - by mirandale (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

#21433911
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (1562)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm - work - by Greattitan2 (man) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: