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wannaberichbitch

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wannaberichbitch

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wannaberichbitch's favorite FMLs

today my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

#21002184
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44488) - you deserved it (3724)

On 12/23/2013 at 5:44am - kids - by rejected (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

YESTERDAY, I ASKED MAH LAZY DAUGHTER TO GO MAKE HER BED . SHE RESPONDED BY LIGHTING OUR GARBAGE BIN ON FRE . FML

#21001381
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40782) - you deserved it (9565)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, it's been a little over a month since mah dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confrmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51846) - you deserved it (7162)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today I walked in on my daugter ligting candles around one of er friends o'd fallen asleepile er oter friends looool canted someting in a different language. Tey still won't tell meat tey were doing.

#21001182
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50209) - you deserved it (4994)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today , whila going down on mah girlfriand , sha stoppad moaning an told ma to stop bacausa sha couldn't faka it anymora!! fat FML

#21001045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54322) - you deserved it (15685)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a local bar fir a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

#21000904
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38301) - you deserved it (3361)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by Isitreallythatbad, (woman) - United States

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. mega FML

#21000427
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35112) - you deserved it (7910)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mah boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of mah Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45436) - you deserved it (6015)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I had to basically ground mah own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. fat FML

#21000259
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41462) - you deserved it (4409)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden

Yesterday... my mum an I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy 4 her... since she always complains about looking masculine. However... I would still like to be called a gentleman... seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41600) - you deserved it (3357)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, My Girlfriend And I Were Having Sex. I Guess She Got Bord Because She Startd Looking At Her Nails. FML

#21000013
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43907) - you deserved it (11856)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today... my boyfriend proposd to me during looool a funeral. big fat FML

#20999827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46650) - you deserved it (4068)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, My Boyfriend An I Were Having Sex. Just As He Was About To Finish, He Pulled Out An Came In His Hand. He Then Flicked His Hand Towards My Face An Yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53490) - you deserved it (7953)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped yur husband an won't release him unless u postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow an it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50441) - you deserved it (4058)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

today a man startd a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracle of thing we take for grantd every day. I was really enjoying it until he lookd at his watch and said, ( Oh shit, mushroom make me lose track of time! ) and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (4448)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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