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today my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML
Today, it's been a little over a month since mah dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confrmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML
Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. mega FML
Yesterday... my mum an I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy 4 her... since she always complains about looking masculine. However... I would still like to be called a gentleman... seeing as how I am one. FML
today a man startd a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracle of thing we take for grantd every day. I was really enjoying it until he lookd at his watch and said, ( Oh shit, mushroom make me lose track of time! ) and ran off into the night. FML
Friday 27 March 2015