wanderingshopper

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Offline (the 10/26/2014 at 3:07am)

wanderingshopper

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 January 1972 (44 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 487
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About wanderingshopper : Happily married.

wanderingshopper's page activity

Visits<b>jill97</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 8:20am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 10:35am<b>mt631</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 5:33pm<b>Kandi_Neko</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:42pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:46pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 8:17pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 7:06am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 6:00am<b>sulitak</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 6:27am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 11:32am<b>wlddog</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:16am<b>Domo17</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 12:50am<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 11:29am<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 3:01am<b>cynicalhumanist</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:08pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 2:10pm<b>DingoCJ</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 7:27pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 9:54pm

wanderingshopper's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of wanderingshopper's badges

wanderingshopper's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

by Myballshurt / 08/03/2013 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

by kilamo80 / 07/27/2013 at 5:26am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

by "people these days" / 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm / United States / Love

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

by WhyDoINeedAName / 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

by disgruntled stepdaughter / 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 2:57am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML

by wrongplacewrongtime / 02/22/2013 at 1:12am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML

by AKGrace / 02/21/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Alaska) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML

by single once again / 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Love

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2012 at 6:17pm / United States / Kids