waldo899

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waldo899

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 630
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About waldo899 : I love homestuck. My deviantart is waldo899. I also like doctor who. I am a dalek troll human hybrid. Exterminate exterminate

waldo899's page activity

Visits<b>TheDoctor10</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 7:53pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 12:28am<b>threer</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 3:21am

waldo899's FML badges

50 favourites

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The rules are the rules

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It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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waldo899's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

by Poly24 / 08/27/2013 at 6:32am / Kids

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

by TheRoad42 / 08/20/2013 at 8:54am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "ew". FML

by ew / 08/11/2013 at 9:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2013 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally gave away all of the stuffed animals that I've been hoarding for years. Proud, I told my family. They congratulated me by buying me stuffed animals. FML

by TheSacredTeddyBear / 07/30/2013 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy