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wairdt

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  • Number of visits : 2730
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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wairdt's favorite FMLs

Today, 30 minutes before I was supposed to quit work at 6pm, my boss showed up. After telling him how the day went, he asked why I was still there. Apparently, for the holiday, we close early. 4 hours earlier. FML

#16981482
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (6819)

On 07/05/2011 at 1:34am - work - by worksucker - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

#14855519
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14350) - you deserved it (36724)

On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43288) - you deserved it (7935)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

#14737614
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57080) - you deserved it (6762)

On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12104) - you deserved it (41890)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

#14699033
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (9407)

On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML

#14636660
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (9573)

On 01/19/2011 at 7:05am - intimacy - by lonerjik (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

#14619610
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (5755)

On 01/17/2011 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by No O-face (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14379) - you deserved it (36784) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys up onto the top shelf in storage. I'm 4'10. FML

#14539284
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (3571)

On 01/10/2011 at 11:11pm - work - by frmitalywithlove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

#14524101
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31872) - you deserved it (3281)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -

Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML

#14497431
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (6709)

On 01/07/2011 at 2:10pm - misc - by BiteMe14 - United States

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

#14478840
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31885) - you deserved it (4525)

On 01/05/2011 at 9:19pm - kids - by yingyang2 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41801) - you deserved it (8755)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

#14085005
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23152) - you deserved it (5845)

On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)



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