wairdt

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wairdt

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3692
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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wairdt's page activity

Visits<b>Louie2013</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:41pm<b>kaiser510</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 11:33pm<b>datuglykorean</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:09am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 3:25am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:57pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:01am<b>HarperGirl</b> - the 12/07/2009 at 9:25am<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/16/2009 at 4:41pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 11/04/2009 at 7:19pm<b>dwhit33</b> - the 10/12/2009 at 10:06pm<b>LOLOLOLOLOLOL123</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 2:06pm<b>pwnrzero</b> - the 08/11/2009 at 2:45am<b>popsoda</b> - the 07/07/2009 at 10:21pm<b>tej</b> - the 07/07/2009 at 9:54am<b>Katt1</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 4:15pm<b>MrGlad</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 2:43pm<b>Somebody52</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 11:14pm<b>xxhiyo</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 2:03pm

wairdt's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

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wairdt's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

by huh / 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML

by john / 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

by winnerwinner / 05/02/2012 at 11:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

by Tristan Brantley / 03/11/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Love