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wairdt

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wairdt
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2269
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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wairdt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17825) - you deserved it (2535)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17835) - you deserved it (3970)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20111) - you deserved it (2001)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19771) - you deserved it (8225)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18439) - you deserved it (2749)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37703) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26605) - you deserved it (1429)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10953) - you deserved it (31583)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (42422)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (7440)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wore an expensive vintage blazer which I'd purchased at a market in Paris. Turns out my colleague has the exact same one, only hers is from a clearance rack at Target. FML

#20045097
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17294) - you deserved it (7553)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:10pm - misc - by arh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

#20040897
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10840) - you deserved it (20931)

On 08/25/2012 at 12:06pm - work - by Michael D. (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I watched as some idiot made a bad U-turn and I laughed. I then turned into another car. FML

#20031484
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4025) - you deserved it (29250)

On 08/20/2012 at 4:55am - misc - by LOLOLOLOL (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

#19842330
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (3133)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)



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