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yesterday while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctor and nurse would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
Today , I was at my job , waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible tumpers. Tey left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service , telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately , Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML
TODAY I WAS FEELING SICK AND FAINTD WHILE TEACHING MY KINDERGARTEN CLASS . I CUMMD TO WHEN ONE BOY POURD A CUP OF WATER ON MY FACE . THREE KIDS WERE CRYING INTO MY WALKIE TALKIE TELLING THE OFFICE I WAS DEAD, AND THE REST OF THE CLASS HAD DISAPPEARD . FML
Today I held hands with the boy I like!! Without thinking I commentd that his right hand is softer as if he only usd lotion on that one hand!! And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence!! FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom . When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." mega FML
Today I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attack that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what one of us is alway shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, my wife and I had a fight,hich I thought we resolved!! Later,hile painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about!! She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all!! FML
Today, I finally got ma wedding potos in te mail. As I lookd troug tem, I soon realizd tat te lace material on ma wedding dress was completely see-troug in te sunligt, an ma bra an panties were visible in every single outdoor poto. I ad an outdoor wedding. FML
TODAY, ONE OF THE GIRLSHO HAS MADE IT HER JOB TO RUIN MAH LIFE CORNERD ME IN THE HALLWAY AT SCHOOL . SHE TRID TO INSULT ME, AN 4 THE FIRST TIME IN MAH LIFE I HAD A SCATHING COMEBACK . MY ELATION QUICKLY ENDEDHEN SHE VIOLENTLY SHOVD MAH FACE INTO THE WATER FOUNTAIN . FML
today I was slapped acros the face by a grl in the waiting room at the dentist's office!! She thought I was taking a picture of her breast with mah phone!! I was smilinghile reading other people's FMLs!! FML
Today , at the age of 29 , I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago , mah fiancé an I lost our home , an r now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got droppd off at home , before 10 , after having sex in a hay field. FML
Friday 27 March 2015