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Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14702) - you totally deserved it (6968)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20102) - you totally deserved it (4683)
On 10/07/2009 at 11:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was called by my sons school. He had been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse, my handwriting looking like a 6 year olds or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention but I still have my dignity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4152) - you totally deserved it (57584)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you totally deserved it (2428)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53404) - you totally deserved it (3427)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41647) - you totally deserved it (7595)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22855) - you totally deserved it (35196)
On 08/12/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (158673) - you totally deserved it (10762)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (183825) - you totally deserved it (6218)
On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100188) - you totally deserved it (11998)
On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I have to go LOST is on in 20 minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50728) - you totally deserved it (5972)
On 02/25/2009 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by notmyday (man) - United States (Florida)
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