vvvalori

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vvvalori

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 28 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2215
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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vvvalori's page activity

Visits<b>snowby2</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 7:22am<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:42pm<b>zwinger35</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 6:30pm<b>Pepito92</b> - the 10/10/2009 at 2:09am<b>wienerwagon</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 3:13pm<b>Amkii</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 7:27am<b>ch2358</b> - the 07/25/2009 at 11:06pm<b>Bashar</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 9:36am<b>dontpanic</b> - the 07/02/2009 at 5:06pm<b>paisley</b> - the 07/02/2009 at 2:32pm

vvvalori's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

vvvalori's favorite FMLs

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

by Pierceew / 09/19/2009 at 1:22am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 2:02am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

by Waheyyy / 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

by 1ndustrytx / 09/04/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

by adriana / 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Utah) / Money

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

by rammedbehind / 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML

by redbluegreen / 08/09/2009 at 5:26am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

by just_a_bit_akwRd / 08/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

by WearingOff / 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

by Sad / 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Money