I guess my life doesn't suck that bad.
=] I love messages
Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9348) - you totally deserved it (1390)
On 03/17/2010 at 10:18am - work - by mama75 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17877) - you totally deserved it (3101)
On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (6456) - you totally deserved it (1143)
On 01/21/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a biology quiz back. I had drawn a dinosaur on the back of the page, asking for extra credit. When my teacher handed it to me, I turned it over to see that he had drawn a caveman shooting arrows at my dinosaur. It was bleeding. Profusely. I didn't get the extra credit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3863) - you totally deserved it (18098)
On 01/14/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Halpal (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you totally deserved it (914)
On 01/12/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kids menu and colored for the half hour before our food came and and didn't talk to me at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16154) - you totally deserved it (1788)
On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14322) - you totally deserved it (2944)
On 01/02/2010 at 8:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6979) - you totally deserved it (14325)
On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - misc - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16812) - you totally deserved it (6584)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4449) - you totally deserved it (23237)
On 12/22/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by funyfunkid (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss. We were talking about the holiday hours and such. I had to go to my doctor's appointment so I said to him "G2G, love you" on accident. Not only did he say it back, he requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17563) - you totally deserved it (6735)
On 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm - work - by ohshat (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I had given up on finding my makeup bag with cell phone and iPod my mom had bought for me recently. So I went to art to join the group of girls with whom I share the back art studio of my school. One of them was talking about how she'd ripped off some bitch's stuff, and she held up my bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you totally deserved it (1263)
On 12/21/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at a family party and everyone was seeing my new glasses for the first time. My 48 year old uncle told me that I look like a hot librarian and then grabbed my ass. He was still sober. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19910) - you totally deserved it (1317)
On 12/21/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by frapples1 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
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On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I spent five hours typing a letter to a Norwegian client. I then took a quick nap after the hard work. When I woke up, I found my paper in weird English. It turns out my girlfriend wanted to do me a favor and correct the words with the "red wavy lines." She was kind enough to save. FML
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On 12/20/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by runescapeftw - United States (North Carolina)
