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votingcoffee

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votingcoffee

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votingcoffee's favorite FMLs

Today, it's got to the point where my parents have to force me to plan social outings. FML

#21442703
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21987) - you deserved it (5248)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:47pm - misc - by TheDarth (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49208) - you deserved it (6907)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41667) - you deserved it (6591)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53583) - you deserved it (20562)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (9316)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML

#20196663
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9564) - you deserved it (29906)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

#17403916
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39909) - you deserved it (7005)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69443) - you deserved it (12180)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12154) - you deserved it (126577)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (12896)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

#14852501
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16855) - you deserved it (34794)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (18553)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (18553)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML



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