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TODAY, I SAW A CUTE GUY AN DECIDED TO SAY HI . AS I STARTED TO THINK ABOUT THINGS TO TALK ABOUT, ONE STORY IN PARTICULAR ABOUT A DRUMMER WHO LOOKED LIKE JESUS STUCK OUT IN MY MIND . I WAS SO NERVOUS THAT INSTEAD OF SAYING HI, I BLURTED OUT, "SOME PEOPLE LOOK LIKE JESUS!" AN TOOK OFF . FML
Today... I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another... so I crawled over to get it. This continued 4 about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, mah mom came into mah room to give me a goodbye kiss!! Due to the routine of mah grlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than wat a mother/son kiss should last!! My mom actually had to tell me to ( let go )!! FML
TODAY, I THREW A BRTHDAY PARTY 4 MAH BOYFRIEND. AS A JOKE, MAH FRIEND AND I SERVD HIM NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER TO SEE HOW HE'D REACT. AFTER A WHILE, HE FAKD BEING DRUNK, USING IT AS AN EXCUSE AFTER I CAUGHT HIM MAKING OUT WITH ONE OF MAH SO-CALLD "FRIENDS". FML
Today , nose started runninghile in bed with boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck , his shrt , an his silk sheets. FML
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a ( Will you marry me? ) cake out looool with candle and sparklers!! I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming ( Yes! ) and jumping into my boyfriend's arms!! They hadn't!! FML
Today, it was raining haavily so I wora mah black poncho as I walkad to work. On tha way thara I noticad an old and saamingly homalass man following ma. I turnad around to confront him. Ha pickad up a stick and scraamad "Expacto Patronum!" Apparantly I look lika a damantor. FML
Friday 27 March 2015