About viper64 : I'm 6'0" and 135 lbs. I play kicker and punter in football at my high school, as well as 1st base in baseball, and I'm a striker in soccer. It sucks being so light and thin, because you're never taken seriously till you prove yourself.
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viper64's favorite FMLs
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
by brianfantana32 / 09/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML
by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 1:16pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML
by fuck yuo / 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
by Bethany / 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
by StillBetterThanTwilight / 08/28/2012 at 11:56am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I wrote the girl I love a long, gushy letter to convince her to be with me instead of her abusive ex. Later on, I asked her what she thought. She said she can't read cursive. She chose the ex. FML
by tutusaurus / 08/28/2012 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML
by bummerdood / 08/26/2012 at 12:15am / United States (Kansas) / Love
by brylynn / 08/25/2012 at 9:58pm / United States / Health
Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML
by blue / 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
by Demetria / 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Todd / 08/14/2012 at 12:14pm / United States / Health
by youmothERFUCKErs / 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML
by mikeissad / 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
by mike h / 08/10/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
- Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's… Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make… Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no…