About viper64 : I'm 6'0" and 135 lbs. I play kicker and punter in football at my high school, as well as 1st base in baseball, and I'm a striker in soccer. It sucks being so light and thin, because you're never taken seriously till you prove yourself.
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viper64's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by SebastianMiko / 11/09/2012 at 2:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
by Shauna / 11/08/2012 at 6:09am / United States / Kids
Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2012 at 6:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by heartbroke / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Kids
Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML
by onlyme / 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm / United States / Money
by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…