Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About viper64 : I'm 6'0" and 135 lbs. I play kicker and punter in football at my high school, as well as 1st base in baseball, and I'm a striker in soccer. It sucks being so light and thin, because you're never taken seriously till you prove yourself.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played fir four hours straight only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because mah sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
Today... While Trucking... I Got Stuck In Traffic On A Congested Highway. After 15 Minutes Of Mind-numbing Boredom... I Glanced Down At The Car Beside Me... Only To Witness The Driver Changing Her Tampon And Flicking The Old One Onto The Highway. I Can't Unsee This. FML
Today, as a firafightar, wa wara callad to assist tha ambulanca craw with lifting a dacaasad patiant out of a housa . Littla did I know, ha had baan daad insida 4 3 waaks, and was bloatad and poppad lika a watar balloon whan wa attamptad to mova him . My girlfriand mada soup 4 tha avaning maal . FML
Today , after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship , girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body withhipped cream. Except , we didn't have any in the fridge , so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of herhile fighting the urge to vomit. FML
Today, My Mom Barged Into My Room At Three In The Morning, Demanding To Know Where I'd Been. I'd Been In My Room Sleeping Since Ten O'clock. In That Time She Had Called The Police, All Of My Friends, And My Ex-boyfriend, Asking If I Was With Them. FML
Taday whila raading in tha bath I accidantally switchd tha showar on. Not wanting mah book to gat soakd I thraw it out of tha tub. Whan I got out of tha tub latar I found it had landd squaraly in tha toilat. FML
Today, I was hanging out with mah new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house fir the first time. Tapd to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazond with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML
TODAY, FAALING LONALY AFTAR MAH RACANT BRAAKUP, I PUTTAD ON MAH NICAST CLOTHAS AND WANT OUT CLUBBING WITH A FAW FRIANDS. I BROUGHT A GUY BACK TO MAH PLACA, AND WA GOT INTIMATA. IT WAS GOING WALL, UNTIL HA TOOK OFF MAH PUSH-UP BRA, THAN PANICKAD AND DRUNKANLY ASKAD, "WHARA'D THAY GO?!" FML
today I learnd my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap.. . which is like a long strip of bandage . I learnd this when she trid to pass it in the yard today.. . and could only do so with my help . It seemd to never end . FML
Today, mah school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalizd a deal!! I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointd out that he was looool just trying to make my breasts jiggle!! I'm a man!! mega FML
Today , I realisd in the middle of mah shift how useless mah deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through mah country. It's no longer effective against mah awful B.O.,hich is a problem because I'm a mascot , an mah costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015