About violetsweety : Hi!
They say I'm cocky, just because I think I am hot. But I think everybody is hot also.
About violetsweety : Hi!
violetsweety's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
violetsweety's favorite FMLs
by Arrgh / 05/27/2009 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was feeling really down. So I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid shit anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML
by downer / 05/25/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML
by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
by Kens / 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
by Rech / 05/12/2009 at 7:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek
Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML
by Ilovelife07 / 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
by breathalizard / 05/02/2009 at 2:21am / United States (North Dakota) / Health
Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML
by systeminitiated / 05/02/2009 at 12:55am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
by cgold / 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
by BARF / 04/27/2009 at 9:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML
by gabormelchior / 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML
by rejected / 04/23/2009 at 12:20am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy